When you forgive the other in his presence and accept his qualities that differ from you, you would be admitting that God allowed him to be as he is, this means that he could be worse than what you want him to be. However, this is the world, and in this world people are formed according to how they came from their mothers, to how they grew up in their societies, and to the various experiences they had.
A person being as he is, means that you should expect him to behave according to the way he knows and you might not like that. You shouldn’t be satisfied from forcing yourself to accept him, but you should accept him and hope to reform him. Humanity is a painting, in which every color is different from the other, and God wanted us this way, different, because we are free and there is no model through which humans are formed. For if you accepted the other, you would have accepted God’s will in his worshipers; and his unfathomable will is diversity.
Accepting the other results in cooperating with him if he was close to you, I mean if he was in your environment or if your profession forced you to cooperate. Of course, you must know whether he was straight or a thief, an honest person or a liar. You have the right not to deal with him in your profession. This professional cooperation doesn’t force you to love him; you should stay in your straightness and honesty.
Forgiveness requires not killing the other because Christ is present in every person you deal with and because He who gave man his life is the only one allowed to take it back. This means that you should never be angry, because anger is the source of cursing, harming and then killing. This also means that you shouldn’t be angry but be a friend of the person you’re dealing with, because friendship is a side of love that could do anything.
One of the aspects of forgiveness is accepting the person coming from another religion or from outside your church. People have their religions from their birth, so you must be merciful with them and not mock their religious positions, and if you argued, do that with full respect. Do not agree verbally on positions that your church doesn’t accept; don’t be flattery especially that you might not know all their beliefs.
Our country is a diversified society. You should confront but not challenge. You should be happy in their feasts and for the good thinking they have, but you should have your precautions on things when you should. Do not argue a lot, and if you did, do it politely because we should pay attention to our fellowship and have with them a human unity after our religious or doctrinal unity became impossible.
You shouldn’t be affected by anyone and shouldn’t have any maliciousness or spite. Give a service wherever you can because serving softens the hearts. And if the person you wanted to make closer to you became sick, stay next to him for this shall make him closer to you if he was gentle. And his enmity towards you might disappear if some of his enmity was lost. Burn his bad qualities with clear and active love. Remember the words of the Lord: “whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also”, i.e. destroy the enmity of his soul with unlimited kindness and maintain his status and reputation and praise him in his absence if he deserved it because this shall encourage him and enhance his ethics. And if we supposed that he remained evil, remember what the Lord said: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you” because the purpose is to live in love on earth as a beginning to the Kingdom of God.
Lenience becomes mutual forgiveness between you and the other, and God becomes the bridge between you. This would be your victory over yourself and an invitation for the other to enter Christ’s zone.
Translated by Mark Najjar
Original Text: “المسامحة” –Raiati no45- 06.11.2005
