Love and Desire / 12.06.2010
There is no point of meeting between love and desire, as one of our great poets has claimed. They might be identical linguistically, but when you follow the Bible and the writings of the Fathers, I notice that a similarity exists between the Divine Love or the love that God pours down and the yearning or the passion flowing from one human heart to another, which was spoken of by the Greeks in Antiquity and by those who adopted the use of the word “Eros” in Christian writings. The expression “Eros” is not confined in its meaning to a physical denotation but always denotes an affective or emotive meaning. It is an automatic spontaneous feeling similar to water gushing out from a spring. Though it is usually said of the depth of the soul, but it could be said, though only slightly, of God. And when said that He is its source, then that feeling –which is void of emotions – the source of which is God, is called love.
So the love that God in His generosity and grace pours down in someone’s heart – as we Christians say – can also be poured into another person’s heart and as such the human being loves in the same way God loves.
Only the Old Testament speaks about the passion that exists between a man and a woman when God tells Eve that “your desire shall be to your husband” (Genesis 3: 16). And in the Septuagint (the Greek translation of the Old Testament) the word “desire” implies desire and lust.
But The New Testament does not have in it even one word denoting desire or even the word “love” in its simple meaning. It does not speak of a sentimental relationship between a man and a woman. It only speaks about marriage, which might focus much, or only a little, on emotions or it might even not do so. Marriage is related to God in one way or another even when it is done on familial or social basis. As a result of that, it is not true that in marriage, Christianity requires love in its popular modern understanding or in the romantic sense. There is nothing in the New Testament that is similar to what one finds in the Song of Songs or to what Hosea mentions in the beginning of his book about fawning and fondling.
This avoidance of talking about passion in the New Testament is so, in my opinion, because the Gospel does not describe natural life for us, and the believer does not need to be taught by God about matters existing in his psychological and physiological make up – what Paul calls the natural man according to his creation; then the natural man, without losing his attributes according to nature, becomes a spiritual man born of the Holy Spirit. One becomes God bound. St. Paul did not show disfavor towards the good human desires that are practiced according to the commandments of God which keeps Man from perdition and helps in his spiritual ascent. In the believer, both his body and soul are together walking in the Holy Spirit. This Man who is renewed by the Divine Spirit receives from God the love that supersedes passion in the sense that it “supervises” desire, domesticates it and purifies it. The beginning of all beginnings is that God is love; and when we “herald” from love, we would be “descending” from God. We would live His Deity in the “frame” of a nature which is always called to behold the Divine Energies that make us holy. And through holiness, you would be freeing yourself from the yoke of this world while still on Earth; thus you ascend, since the ascension is not a geographical ascending to heaven.
This leads me to what St. Paul says in his letter to the Ephesians as he speaks of marriage. “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church”. (Eph 5: 25). The Arabic word for love “ahebbou”, is phonetically like the word “aghebbou”(for love) in Greek; and that means love your wives with the love that you inherit from God. Such a love is not related to natural passion and also not related to the physical relations in a marriage. St. Paul does not call the Christians to a blaze of emotions since he knows that that does not need a commandment from him; but he calls Christians to lay down their lives for their wives as Christ has given himself for the Church, that is till death, and such love comes down upon you from above.
St Paul calls you to become a spiritual person in marriage, such that you remain in the natural marriage relationship, but you elevate it through love – not through passion and emotion – so that you become self-giving, like Christ. You become one body with your wife, as St. Paul says. Such unity is impossible for passions to accomplish, since passions go up and down. With emotions, you find coldness, warmth and lukewarmness, while the goal is for one to become a spiritual person within the limitations of his nature. And St. Paul continues saying: “this is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.” (Eph 5: 32)
This is not a reference here to marriage as being one of the sacraments of the Church; what he means to say is that all your life becomes a Divine sacrament when you live it according to the relationship between Christ and the Church; that is in the maximum of largesse.
Giving is the keyword here. In Greek culture, love is a kind of a takeover, a domination of the other. That is Plato. But in Christ, love between man and woman is an oblation so great that the argument as to who is the head in the family, fades away. He who has authority in the family, or in any management, is the one who loves and not the one who orders. In giving orders, there is the desire for authority to the point of passion. The one who loves is obeyed without him having to give orders; because the one who loves dies so that both, he and the one who is loved, will have life.
Passions go and come back as they wish; if you are able to guide them with the light of the love of the Gospel, you will save them. And if you do not, they will destroy you. The desire of one does not embrace the other person. Only through love God has embraced us and adopted us, and love adopts all people, because it is shed for the sake of the one who has commanded love – and I mean God. Love embraces all existence, the whole human condition, and makes it a dwelling for God. As such love abolishes the distinction between Heaven and Earth.
Translated by Riad Moufarrij
Original Text: “المحبة والشوق” –An Nahar- 12.06.2010
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