October 2012

In my youth, when I was a student at the Fransiscan mission school, the monks used to tell us that there is a personal judgment at one’s death, and a universal judgment on the Last Day. At that time I used to be involved in studying Orthodox doctrine in which I never found the above duality. And I used to say to myself: “Sufficient for me is the dread of the universal judgment”.

Then I came to know that the Eastern Church says that after death you realize what your position with God is and that you wait for the reward if you have not been shackled with many sins and that would be a beginning of joy if not the ultimate one. And if you are loaded with many sins, you would be waiting for the last punishment and there is quite a penalty in that.

Then at my old age I considered the idea of “personal judgment” but I did not adopt the expression used because my Church does not use it. I got convinced not very long ago that the moment of death is a moment of standing before the Creator and that that encounter is one full of awe and fear; since you are in front of God with the load of your sins and as such in disharmony with the nature of the Lord. And you feel that that encounter dictates your eternal destiny though God has engulfed the encounter with mercy from its beginning to its end.

It does not seem to me that there are legal proceedings against you that would decide your eternal destiny. And, for God to be depicted as a court is an image of a juridical nature though our holy books mention it. And these books tell the story of Man and God in principle but the major story is of the encounter which takes place right after you leave this earth. The image I use is that of Christ approaching you while you are in the coffin, and whispering in your ear, He reproves you. Maybe Jesus would be tender in that whisper, but in His obedience to His Father, He does not find sin easy since it wounds the compassions the Father has for you. You did nothing to balsam the wounds of the Father. You remain an enemy due to sin, and the Father remains the One who holds you to His heart; or the Son puts you on His chest, and when the Father sees that, He has compassion on you without neglecting reproving you, since if He does not reprove you, He would be, in a biased way, siding with you and not in line with His own Law.

And through His law you can become better because you cannot flirt with sin and remain close to God. You are close to Him in as much as you shine spiritually because the Lord does not have a clique whom He brings close to Himself and another clique He distances. You, when you are His, become of Him as He sees Himself in you since when you become pure you become His mirror; and the Lord in His nature loves Himself in you and continually asks you whether you have accepted Him or not and He knows that you are His; or that you are not His but that you are seeking to aggrandize yourself and then dwell in its uppity thus making your pride your dwelling place and as such removing God away to a distant “dwelling place”.

The heart of the matter with God is whether you make Him yours or not. And when you distance Him – and that is what we do when we sin – you distance yourself from true existence in order to make for yourself an existence which deceives you and sets you up in the delusions of this world. It is sin that makes you think that your existence is through your own power and strength and not through the power of the Lord; as such, sin takes you soaring into a deceitful mirage away from God.

The heart of the matter is that you know that you are the guest of the Divine Being who is in you; or else you would be the guest of the illusions you make for yourself in your fear of God. Are you a man of fear or of confidence? Do you feed on yourself and the deceitfulness that is nested in you, or are you thrown in the bosom of the Father forgetting your pleasures and luxuries so that you feel that you have become a son who, while still in this world, dwells in the Kingdom of God that descends on you in the love and tenderness of the Father?

His tenderness, if you believe in Him, would draw your eyes to His eyes thus making you know that you exist through His gaze on you. And this gaze, if you “catch” it, makes you examine your heart as the Orthodox say, or makes you examine your conscience as the Latin say. Blessed are you if you see God in your heart and you see Him stirring the throbbings of the Spirit in you, throbbings that stay in you after the body is extinguished.

If some insist on considering a personal judgment, I would say that, if we are watchful, each moment of our life is a personal judgment in the sense that our spiritual consciousness makes us continually standing in the presence of God; as such we see that our sin strikes us and that distancing ourselves from Him is death itself. Every sin is a death; and I would say that the death coming from sin is the “death of God” (I am only borrowing from Nietzsche the expression). How ugly is the one who kills God in him not knowing that with that he effaces himself from real existence and renders the fire of hell dwelling in his soul even ahead of the time when, unless he repents, the demons would take him to themselves.

And repentance for the sinner means that he discovers that his ways are sinful and that all his opinion of God is wrong because he used to delude himself that sin is not sinful and that it is necessary for life and perhaps he was seeking to keep God in his heart or to go further, he reckoned that he can keep for himself a being (that is his own) severed from the Divine Being.

Our story of our association with sin is very terrible because it is founded on a great fallacy which is that you think you are able to live without God or at least you think that you would delay your encounter with Him and as such you have no idea about the dread of death and what that entails.

The sinner is not only perverse in his behavior. He is also perverse in his thinking in the sense that he has got fallacious thinking. Repentance is that you take off from yourself such wrong thinking so that you can have the mind that was in Christ Jesus as Paul said or, if your religion is not that of Paul, the mind which resembles that.

Lord save us from sin and draw us closer to your Face so we can have life.

Translated by Riad Moufarrij

Original Text: “ما الدينونة؟” – An Nahar – 20.10.2012

Killing another can be physical or moral. Insults swearwords are a form of murder. We destroy the others by crushing and suppressing them or we cancel their inner being through words. My own thinking here is that we annihilate ourselves with that and not the others. In certain phases of our anger, we desire to cancel the other; and when we find we could not do that, we blot him out of our mind or heart and we express that through spoken words or in writing.

What prevents us from coexisting with others is an inner matter of our hearts. Duality is in the heart basically, or else it would not be in a person. The consideration and acceptance of the other’s existence as he is, in his mentality and behavior, as different from your own mentality and behavior, is a matter that needs much effort. Accepting the differences between you and the others means that you coexist with them despite the differences and that you admit that you are not the only one who has the truth.

We usually do not coexist with others as they are. We exist with an image we have made of they; and when that image is shaken, the coexistence is done away with. Our life as such is a “dance” of images; and that can disturb us until we manage to draw of others an image that we feel at ease with. And this view of others is subject to changes because we can change that “dance” or we consider that the other has changed his “dance”.

Your inner “rhythm” (temperament) is not stable. “Rhythms” shift in some people especially if they are temperamental. And when you remain at the same “rhythm” during the day you would appear to be stable and that can vex others but it is the right condition of healthy coexistence. And often your view of others changes since your own convictions are not stable and that makes you see others as having changed while in fact you see in them the image that you wish to see or that your temperament leads you to see.

The difficulty in true coexistence is that there are different and opposite temperaments; as such there are some who follow after the truth, and there are some who follow themselves, their benefits and their pleasures. The truth cannot be on equal footing with the “I” that is closed on itself and closes others in. That is, in this world, there is one who kills and the other who is murdered or who might fall prey to others. There are those who exist through their faith and convictions and there are those who exist through the upheavals experienced in their temperaments.

Why is it that one fluctuates and another does not but remains stable? The answer is simple: there are those who believe in the solidity of truth and those who do not because they see themselves in this existence as without an ultimate reference which is the Lord who is stable and immovable in Himself. They might not know the Lord in a personal way, but they identify their inner being with truths that are self existing and steadfast that do not sway with the utilities of this world like, social prestige, or religious sectarianism, or a political partisanship. That is there are those who stand in truth and yield themselves only to that and there are those who stand in their own emotions or self interest and pride which they think is the truth.

A person who believes that what he has of truth is what makes every other person as standing in the truth, struggles steadfastly to spread the truth to all others since he is concerned for their being in putting on the shield of salvation and the helmet of righteousness. Such a person carries the divine inspiration in him, and in order to keep himself firm in that inspiration, he struggles; and due to that those who are weak in the Faith face him with insults and the real purpose in insulting him is to kill him or to smack him and as such in reviling him they cancel him from existence though they do not accost him physically on the outside. But those who love the truth hope for the conversion of all people and for them (the people) to get to know the truth and not to stop in their fight though they would suffer. Those who have no patience in having truth spread, use their tongues to revile others and annihilate them. “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” (James 3: 6) And the apostle goes on speaking of the tongue: “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.”

And James continues saying that good behavior is in the meekness of wisdom and that (good behavior) seeks the other as beloved of God and you have to safeguard him in this belovedness and not annihilate yourself and him through swearwords and reviling because swearwords which come out from you only due to anger, will kill him and thus his presence in your heart will cease.

When the Lord endows you with patience, then you are in a state of waiting. All hope is a waiting since the Lord promises he would come to people; and since God moves towards you and through your hoping, He moves towards the others.

The above attitude might bring you to a state of solitude. And quietness is a state of isolation from other people. It is a meeting with God and if you love Him you prefer His friendship to that of the “angry ones” and you would be content with Him and His dwelling in you so that you would bring about that quietude to those around you.

There is no escape from the partisanship of people except in your faith that the Lord is your sufficiency and that you are His messenger to those who seek Him and those who do not. You are not alone when you take Him as your refuge. He gives you His power since you continue in His grace for you. Keep yourself in His grace. You are not in need of the favor of other people. Having faith means that you stay only in God’s favor, whether people accept that or not.

But beware of making your tongue unclean. If you stay away from swearwords, you are on to nurture many virtues in yourself. A wholly pure tongue in you is the result of you lifting away inner anger from yourself and thus you let God speak through you. Do not utter words unless you have thought about them and only to edify others. You should not be one who defends himself. You are the delegate of Truth in word and in behavior. Submit to the person who has in God’s will and has helped you in your conversion. When you are in such a type of obedience, your tongue would be safeguarded from reviling and He would safeguard it from the anger of swearwords so that it (your tongue) would remain a dwelling and habitat of blessing as long as you live.

Translated by Riad Moufarrij

Original Text: “الشتم” – An Nahar – 13.10.2012

That the new-born baby takes all what it is given of food, that it swallows all what its mouth can swallow, that it gobbles in everything, is the norm in our daily life. The “I” is what our existence centered on. What I eat becomes “my” body, and what I learn becomes “my” mind.

I do not mean to say that the human being is totally egoistic and that he is the center of himself as if his heart is not stirred towards others and does not see himself present in the others and through them. The human being is also altruistic and giving and that means that he has the capacity to be moved with compassion. And my aim here is not to define what in Man makes him giving; we say that this comes from the Lord who dwells in him or that it is a free gift from above and that Man takes no credit for the virtues he has; that does not mean that he does not have to fight to acquire them, but that, essentially, the virtues come down on him from above as Saint Paul says: “By Grace you have been saved”. The source of “the good” is primarily God because He is the one who takes initiative and He is the one who loves first. And we are not able to love except after we know that He loves us and understand that we are able to bring love to others because we have known and felt that we are loved.

We do not make the good in us. It is bestowed on us. Yes, we struggle against our egoism to receive it (the good). As such we respond to the Divine inspiration in us. Man is entrusted the love of the other. And there are those who responded powerfully and had their soul edified by that response. Some of us respond with a soul that God can quickly lead to Himself, and some struggle tediously in order to surrender themselves to the Lord. This is an encounter between us and the beloved Lord who knows the mystery of Himself so you find yourself flowing towards Him or you see yourself pulled towards Him with a push from Him as if it is not you who yearns for Him.

There are those who are in love with sin to the core as if they inhabit it; they get so intimately knit together as if it (sin) has been created with them. And it tends towards them like they tend towards it. Likewise there are those who do not want such an intimacy with sin and do not seek it and they do not find rest until they conquer it because their hearts have become the dwelling of God; or in other words His throne.

Some people feel that they have been molded with virtue as if they do not have to make an effort to acquire it; and there are others whom you feel have been molded with vices in an incredible way to the point that only the Lord is able to sow seeds of His presence in them with which they can become a little familiar with Him; or they may not. But they might remember His words that ring at times in their hearts to wake them up so that those hearts can tear themselves away from temptation since God’s grace in them has become more powerful than their sinfulness.

And when God’s grace approaches you or dwells in you as such seducing you, and you become “in love” with it, then nothing else would attract you and the Lord will pull you to His pleasures so that you become intimate with the Divine in you since He (the Divine) has become of you; or in other words, you have become of Him; then you have become one that has come down from above. “By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth………….The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth? It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go…” (Song of Songs 3)

What there is of faith in mind leads to love; that is to obeying the Lord. Bur you receive the faith through grace that comes down on you, as such it pushes you to love God. I do not deny that your love for Him expresses itself in you keeping His commandments, but your knowledge that you are His beloved is the major motivation for obeying Him.

To know yourself as the “beloved” is to know that you have received the fullness of God’s power that makes Him spend Himself. “So much God loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son….” (John 3: 16). God is the one given as much as He is the giver.

God is on your arms or He has sneaked into your heart. That is what Jesus means when He says “If one loves me, he keeps my commandments. And my Father will love him and we come to him and make our dwelling in him” (John 14: 25). If we believe Jesus’ words we understand that God in not above us or at us, but He is in us. In this dwells the Power of the Christians in transcending their humanity to the Divinity and to remain constantly ascending as such. This is rare and difficult; yet we have been promised that and we hang on to this call till we become of Him.

By the grace of that truth we become able to exist in the others in love or that we would become “them” (i.e. we become what they are). If you do not move towards the “other” to be “him” you would not have denied yourself. “He who wants to follow me has to deny himself and carry the cross and follow me.” (Matt. 16: 24). As such you have to tear yourself away from your self-involvement so that the “self” of Christ can get in to you. In the least of faith, you become with Him in the sense that you would not be too aware of what is yours and what is His. Or you would have to believe that you are nothing but you are of Him and you see no chasm between you and Him because you believe that whatever glory and goodness you have comes from His mercy. If you believe that you have received from Him all grace, you would be able to give; that is to become a crossing for His grace. There is nothing in your mere humanity that can be given to others. You give what you take and the other takes what has been poured on you from above. Your humanity in itself is inane. It is your faith that deifies you pouring in you the power of God. And you spread this power and know that what the Lord asks of you is to forget your created humanity or to transcend it so that you can give away what has come down on you from the Creator who wants you to give it to those around you since it is from Him; and you know that people can receive it when you turn towards them and share with them that treasure which you have been entrusted with.

God’s demand to give yourself on-goingly might bring you pain. The Devil might whisper to you that you are not responsible for people to that extent mentioned in our Holy Books. And the desire for self-centeredness can knock at the door of your heart sometimes. That is form pride. But keep in mind that all beauty in you comes to you from God and that you do not possess that (beauty) except as one who has been entrusted with it.

You are in the permanence of the outpouring (of God’s mercy) so that you find yourself as God sees you. And if you see people shining with grace, you feel that only the Lord has granted that and He alone chooses to give (His grace) so that others become the people of God in this world, that is those who carry His semblance and presence.

That is Heaven on earth; until God raises us from the tombs.

Translated by Riad Moufarrij

Original Text: “حتى يوجع العطاء” – An Nahar – 06.10.2012